Relationship Foundation Series: Equity vs. Equality & Hierarchy

About this event

Fairness in relationships is rarely as simple as “treat everyone the same.” In non-monogamy especially, relationships often have different needs, levels of commitment, and forms of connection and trying to force equality can sometimes create more harm than clarity. In this workshop, we will explore how fairness, prioritization, and power dynamics show up within non-monogamous relationships, and why equity is often a more useful framework than equality when building sustainable, intentional connection. Together, we will unpack the difference between equality and equity, examining how rigid attempts to make every relationship look the same can lead to resentment, comparison, burnout, or unmet needs. Attendees will explore how to make decisions that honor the unique context of each relationship while still maintaining transparency, care, and accountability. We will discuss how to navigate differences in time, energy, commitment, emotional investment, and practical responsibilities without defaulting to control, scarcity, or unhealthy comparison. From there, we will take a deeper look at hierarchy: what it is, how it functions both explicitly and implicitly, and how power dynamics can impact autonomy, agency, trust, and emotional safety within relationships. We will also differentiate between prioritization and hierarchy, helping attendees explore how to intentionally allocate time, resources, and responsibility without unintentionally limiting the autonomy of others. We will also explore the complexities of hinge dynamics and metamour relationships, including the responsibilities of being a hinge partner, navigating communication across shared relationships, and fostering healthier metamour interactions rooted in clarity, respect, and consent. Attendees will examine how triangulation, comparison, and miscommunication can emerge in interconnected relationship systems, and how intentional communication, boundaries, and accountability can reduce unnecessary…